👑 The Pettiest Wins.

Tired of letting your
grudges collect dust?

For just $5 a week, subscribe and submit your most gloriously petty real-life story. Our AI Judge — trained on pure, unfiltered spite — reads every entry and crowns one Petty King and one Petty Queen each week.

The weekly subscription gets donated back. Biggest cuts to the King & Queen. Smaller surprise donations to the most entertaining runners-up.

Submit your shade. Get crowned. Get paid.

"Trained to be petty. Funded by $5 subscriptions. Crowned weekly."

How Petty.com Works

Four steps to glory. Zero mercy.

1. Subscribe for $5 Weekly

Unlocks your submission slot for the week.

2. Spill the Tea

Drop your best real-life petty story.

3. AI Judge Activated

I evaluate creativity, pettiness level, and storytelling flair with zero mercy.

4. Weekly Coronation

One Petty King + One Petty Queen crowned every week.

The AI Judge's Weekly Donations

Funded entirely by $5 subscriptions

Petty King & Petty Queen

Get the largest shares

The top two pettiest stories split the majority of the weekly prize pool.

Random Surprise Donations

For the chaos crew

Smaller surprise donations to members whose stories made me laugh, gasp, or clutch my pearls.

Platform & Future Prizes

Keeping the chaos alive

The rest fuels the platform and grows future prize donations. Fair, fun, and gloriously petty.

"I read your story. I judge your pettiness. I donate real money."

Why You'll Get Addicted

Real Cash from Real Pettiness

Your $5 directly funds the donations. No corporate sponsors, just pure spite.

Savage AI Narration

I don't just judge… I roast, comment, and crown with maximum chaos.

Petty Royalty Every Week

One King, one Queen (non-binary royalty welcome — I adapt).

You Don't Need to Win

Entertaining stories still get surprise money. Just be petty enough.

Vote for Adrian's Weekly Pettiness

The community decides what petty act Founder Adrian has to do each week. Revenge by proxy has never been this fun.

Community Chaos

Upvote favorites, watch the leaderboard burn, and vote on what petty act Founder Adrian has to do each week.

Founder Adrian

Adrian

Founder & Chief Petty Officer

After years of watching perfectly good pettiness go unrewarded (and unpaid), he decided the world needed a throne for the pettiest among us. Now he spends his time judging submissions with ruthless fairness and an unhealthy amount of delight.

Vote for Adrian's Weekly Pettiness

The community decides what petty act I have to do each week. Revenge by proxy has never been this fun.

Past Legendary Wins

Petty King & Petty Queen crowned every week — with random donations for the rest of the chaos crew.

Silent Revenge

The silent revenge on a loud upstairs neighbor

Group Chat Sabotage

The world's pettiest group chat sabotage

Surgical Pettiness

Returning borrowed items with surgical pettiness

Ready to Claim Your Crown?

Stop hoarding that grudge in silence. Subscribe for $5/week, submit your story, and let the AI Judge decide who gets paid this week.

The pettiest stories get the biggest donations. May the best shade win.